Drunk, stupid and taking care of your baby

I must be drunk. My head is foggy, I’m not really here, and when people talk to me I see their lips move and I hear sound, but the words have no meaning. When I open my mouth, words seem to have a hard time getting out. When I sit down I pass out instantly. Definitely drunk. Then again, maybe not. I haven’t been drinking and this feeling has lasted for months.

Maybe I’m just stupid. I can’t answer simple questions, logic is gone, I don’t know where I left my keys, my wallet or my dog. When I walk into a room, I don’t know why I’m there or what I went there for. When I open my laptop, it is always for a purpose, but I usually find myself on Facebook because once I open it, I can’t remember what I needed or was going to do. So I stare at Facebook because I can’t remember that I needed to be doing something else. I know I went to high school, and I think I may have spent some time in one of those institutions of higher learning, so maybe it’s something else. It’s not like they let just anyone into community college.

Is it possible I’m just really tired? When I look in the mirror, the eyes looking back have a dull, glazed, weary look. I recognize them, but not as my own. They are the eyes I see in other parents with young children and I have noticed that those other parents recognize it in me too. I suppose it is a testament to the human animal that we can live in a such a state for months on end and survive.

A recent study revealed that symptoms of sleep deprivation, particularly ongoing sleep deprivation — the kind that new parents enjoy — include: inability to handle stress; poor memory; inability to concentrate; vision problems including seeing things that aren’t really there; poor decision making, diminished motor skills, and slow reaction times all on par with someone who is legally intoxicated; mood swings and agitation which can lead to relationship troubles. In other words, the exact qualities you would look for in someone taking care of your baby.

As it turns out, I’m not drunk or stupid after all. I’m just anxious, moody, stressed out, with no motor or cognitive abilities, no memory, make poor decisions, can’t focus, and hallucinating. On review, drunk and stupid sound like an improvement.

Post Author

This post was written by who has written 11 posts on Green's Light.